Its a blessing and curse when people can tell you're not having a good day.

Today is a day where I just want to cry. And I have a couple times.

My body is going through hell trying to fight something - i have no idea what it is. But my legs and feet are all fucked up and its irritating.

its month end, so that's always stressful.

march is coming, and I know that its not going to be a good month. It will be a year since Mom died, and maybe that's affecting me this month too. This will be Dad's 60th birthday, and Mom's not here. So that's tough.

I'm just having a bad day. I just want to cry.

my coworkers have been so great though. Janice and Sarah are so good. Giving me hugs, and offering to go out for ice cream, or go somewhere to scream, and suggesting ways to get more sleep. And Sonia and Gloria... Gloria said that if i wasn't feeling well (i told her i wasn't, and that I was tired) that I should just go home if I wanted to (i know she didn't believe me. I'm a sucky liar sometimes). And Sonia... just being there. Offering to listen, just BEING there. Saying how strong she thinks/knows I am, and to just have a 'Caitlin Day'.

These are wonderful people that I'm surrounded by.

but i'm just having an off-day. You can't make it better no matter how hard you try. I know that. When i get home, I'm going to have a good cry, and maybe play the sims if I can muster up the energy.

last time i had a day like this, I had kieran. I could probably call him up and tell him that I needed him, and he might be there for me. But i don't want to do that. I have fondue tonight, which I am looking forward to, but... i don't know.

its just a day. I'm tired. My body's tired. my soul is tired.

i'm just tired.

tomorrow is another day.